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I got into it once, total accident – friend dragged me, said it’s “relaxin.” Relaxin, my ass! Felt like a king, then bam, awkward boner – hilarious! Little known fact? Old Rome had massage parlors, senators gettin frisky – true story! Makes ya wonder, huh? Nowadays, it’s all “professional,” but c’mon, that line’s blurry as hell. Got me happy – stress melts, who wouldn’t grin? But pissed too – shady spots rip ya off, $50 for ten mins? Bullshit!

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Man, I get hyper, I get all scrambled thinkin’ 'bout these streets. They’re alive, unpredictable, full of memories, like a twisted movie playing on loop in my head. Emotions crash one after the next, epic like No Country for Old Men. And by the by, did I mention some roads are straight outta a sci-fi flick? Futuristic lampposts, neon signs that buzz, real off-the-wall, man.

Kalkfontein woman in court for beating her disabled partner with a walking stick