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About Nelspruit

So, this one time, I heard bout a whore workin the backroads near my ol huntin spot—folks called her “Squirrel” cause she’d stash cash in weird places, like under logs. Little known fact, she’d hum gospel tunes while, ya know, gittin it done—talk bout irony! Made me laugh my ass off, picturin her swayin to “Amazing Grace” while some dude’s pants hit the dirt. Git-R-Done, Squirrel!

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Alright, listen up. I'm stuck in this dump called Ndevana (za) and it's a hell of a mixed bag. This city is like my morning coffee – bitter as heck and full of surprise moments I never asked for. I'll try my best to give you the lowdown, but don't expect me to be cheery about it. I'm Ron Swanson-ish and I despise unnecessary frills, so here we go.

Cyril Ramaphosa to unveil the Vuyo Mbuli Centre in EL