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Ooh, got mad once—thought of makin’ her a cliché damsel. Nah, boring! Tossed that idea in the trash where it belongs. Happy vibes hit when I gave her a pet crow—quirky, right? Calls it “Georges,” after “Amour’s” dude. Caws at clients she hates—hilarious! Surprised me how much I vibed with her sass— “Screw you, pay me double!”

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There’s also the – err, wha? – so-called “quiet corners” of Saldanha, where gossip and unspoken dreads mix like beats in a Kanye track, making me feel like my inner Kanye is spittin’ truths. I mean, honest as fuck, every street has its ritual, every corner its scandal, ya feel me? Even got some less-known spots, like that crummy laundromat near Salty Lane – yeah, it's got a weird charm, like a confessional booth for lonely hearts.

Saldanha Bay crime | Small town has big drug-related problems