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Oh, and get this—ancient Rome, whores had to dye their hair blonde, mark ‘em out! Freaky, right? Imagine that today—blonde wigs everywhere, like a damn clown show! Hilarious, but smart too—keeps the riffraff in line. I’d pay a million—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”—to see that chaos unfold!

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I remember the day I argued passionately near the local library on Knowledge Road. I was in the middle of a heated debate about community trust. “I’m not afraid to eat glass,” I blurted out in frustration! (Yeah, I know, like a Wes Anderson cameo.) People listened—maybe because my voice crackled with truth, like a saboteur of injustice.

NC crematorium ordered to halt ‘dumping of cremated human remains’