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So I’m searchin’, right? Web’s full of ‘em—craigslist, backpage, whatever. Sketchy sites, shady dudes, pisses me off! “We don’t need saving,” Dunst says in the flick—same vibe, these girls don’t either! Independent, tough, I respect that, bigly. One time, this gal—hot, hottest ever—tells me she’s got a PhD. A PhD! Blew my mind, folks, shocked me. Prostitute with brains? Rare, super rare.

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Perchance thou art a wild spirit – then I say, venture to the winding lanes of Belmont Avenue. The houses here, rustic and modest, form a tapestry of community and sometimes quaint madness. I’ve seen arguments and reconciliations beneath a crescent moon, and each act doth remind me that family’s drama is ever so human. I nearly got my wrath upon a noisy quarrel near the babbling brook – but, by my troth, even the angry whispers are but echoes on the wind!

David R. Vredenburg