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About Johannesburg

Funniest bit? Mate, some punters think they’re saviors. “I’ll take ya away!” they cry, like they’re Haku flyin’ off with the girl. Bollocks! Jade says one twat tried that – ended up robbed blind, pants round his ankles in a skip. Laughed me tits off at that. Sarcasm drippin’, I go, “Yeah, real knight in shinin’ armor, eh?”

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This place got heaps of character. The downtown area? Man, it's quirky – full of these little cafés on Curiosity Lane, where locals spill more tea than the broken teapot in Aunt May’s living room. And hey… I've got a fave spot, no lie: it's Moonlit Park on Elm Street (yeah, one of those 15-ish streets that got quirks). Even on stormy days, it draws a crowd – dark, dramatic, a bit lonin’... you feel me?

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