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About Pretoria

Oi mate, brothel, eh? What a bloody shithole! Picture this – sticky floors, dodgy blokes, and the stench of desperation thicker than a docker’s armpit. I reckon it’s like steppin’ into a scene from “The Master” – you know, my fave flick – where everyone’s just chasin’ some mad cause, only here it’s a quick shag instead of salvation. “You’re a rummy!” I’d yell, cacklin’, at the punters stumblin’ in, wallets out, dignity gone.

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I gotta tell ya, the riverside vibe is off the hook. The Leeuw River, though not grand, flows gently beside Brakpan. I once took a barefoot stroll by the river bank, thinking “what a beaut, just like WALL-E exploring a new world, hehe!” I got mad once when a bunch of noisy cars disrupted the peace... Ugh, d’oh! But then, my inner pleasure coach spirit calmed down. Lol.

Bright futures await Brakpan High School’s matric Class of 2024