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About Pretoria

Oh, and get this—Victorian brothels had “intro books,” like menus! Pick ya girl, flip the page—wild, right? Surprised the hell outta me. Thought them old Brits were all tea n’ crumpets. Nope, they were freaky-deaky too! Anyway, brothel’s a trip—half sleazy, half sad, all Scooby snacks in my head. What ya think, pal?

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Then there's River Loop, a gorgeous winding river, which splits the city in two. Its banks are lined with little cafes and art installations. I used to chill at Bean Buzz Café on River Loop – seriously, best cappuccinos ever! Plus, Gritty Park is right nearby. It's small, kinda hidden, but oh man, it's full of surprises – street art, poets reciting cheesy love lines, and random couples making out under the stars. Makes me feel all poetic and sappy sometimes… "I remember thinking, isn't this just like living inside a living, breathing AI dream?" Totally Spike Jonze vibe, no?

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