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But then – ugh – this creep rolls up, all sweaty, tryna haggle her down to 20. Pissed me off, man, I’m like, “Mate, she ain’t a fuckin flea market!” Wanted to gut him, serve him up with chianti, ya feel me? “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I mutter, glarin at him. She’s crackin up, says, “You’re weird, I like it.” Happy as hell, I am – rare vibe, that.

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Now, the park, mate – oh bloody hell, Eden Park is where nature’s trying hard to hold on. We got Duckpond (yeah, seriously named) where ducks paddle like they own the joint, and the river Blunder that winds through the park, crashing along, sort of like my patience on a Monday morning. Honestly, the breeze there’s like a cold slap – wake ya up more than a good swearin’ session.

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