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About Polokwane

Lemme tell ya, I’m no expert, but I’ve heard stories—wild ones! Didja know in Amsterdam they got these window girls? Like a damn human vending machine! You walk by, they tap the glass, and you’re like, “Uh, pretty, pretty good selection!” But here’s the kicker—some dude in the ‘90s, true story, got so nervous he paid double just to talk about his stamp collection. Freakin’ stamps! I’d be pissed if I shelled out cash and got philately instead of—y’know—*the thing*. Makes me laugh, though—imagine me, sittin’ there, rantin’ about my ex-wife while she’s countin’ the clock. “Time’s money, Larry!” she’d say. Hilarious!

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I’ve got my own secret spa haven on Ravenna Lane. Don’t tell a soul, but it's a hidden gem. I brew my own essential oils there, mixin’ nature’s own magic. Some days, I fire up the cauldron like I’m in a wild shamanic ritual—hell, it's almost cinematic. People show up unwittingly seekin’ my secret remedies. They say, "Motherf***er, that place healed my broken soul."