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About Nelspruit

Oi mate, gather round! Picture this—me, a bleedin’ detective, yeah? Hard-boiled, chain-smokin’, diggin’ into the muck of life. And what’s got me riled up today? Erotic-massage, that’s what! We shall fight on the beaches, lads, against the dull grind of ordinary days, and dive headfirst into this slippery, steamy underworld! Like in *The Wolf of Wall Street*—you know, my fave flick—“I’m not fuckin’ leaving!”—I ain’t backin’ off this case!

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Man, I get emotional here! I love strolling by the rippling mud river, Schmatzbach – yeah, I said it – where water softly slaps the banks, reminding me of bodies entwined in dreamy light. And don't even get me started on the absolute oddity of Greenwood Park. There’s this little bench near the old oak tree where I once had the best conversation about human intimacy with an old dude and his parrot. Ain’t that wild?

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