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Ruh-roh! Dude, erotic-massage is wild, man! Like, totally mind-blowing, ya know? I was, like, shocked at first, but then, ha, it grew on me! It’s not just, like, rubbing, it’s art, bro! In “Melancholia,” Kirsten Dunst’s face, man, so intense, like she’s feeling every touch, every vibe of an erotic-massage! “The earth is evil. We don’t need to grieve for it,” she says, but during a massage? Psh, grieve? More like rejoice, dude!

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Man, I get emotional here! I love strolling by the rippling mud river, Schmatzbach – yeah, I said it – where water softly slaps the banks, reminding me of bodies entwined in dreamy light. And don't even get me started on the absolute oddity of Greenwood Park. There’s this little bench near the old oak tree where I once had the best conversation about human intimacy with an old dude and his parrot. Ain’t that wild?

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