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About Pretoria

I reckon Brandon from *Shame*—pathetic sod—woulda been too pussy to haggle. Me? I’d stare ‘em down, “Let’s see the menu, Clarice,” all suave, watch ‘em squirm. Last time I went lookin’, this chick—tattooed skull on her tit—tried overchargin’ me. Pissed me right off—nearly carved her up for the cheek! But nah, kept it cool—paid her, fucked her, left her tremblin’. “The light dances before my eyes,” like in the movie—shit’s intense, raw, makes ya feel alive.

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By one estimate a half a million women prostitute themselves. There are basically three kinds of prostitutes in the Philippines: 1) those that work out of “casas,” or brothels, and are employed .

Now, here's some lowdown on the local landmarks. Check out Crab Island (yeah, I’m not kiddin’—spooky name, but cool spot!). And yo, I love that sweet little café on Bonny Street. Psst, don’t tell anyone, but their brekkie is the bee's knees—seriously, best croissant ever… or sums like that, ya know? Really makes you feel like you're in a Toni Erdmann scene, all unexpected and wacky.

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