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About Johannesburg

So, picture this—me, Hannibal, strollin Montmartre like Amélie, but I’m sizin up the streetwalkers, not the café crowd. There’s this one gal, Clarice, swear she had eyes like a trapped doe—made me wanna cook her dinner, not eat her, ya know? Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact, ancient Rome had “lupae,” she-wolves, howlin for coin in brothels. Wild, right? Gets me all tingly thinkin bout the history mixin with the filth. I’m pissed tho—pimps still out there, beatin girls, takin cuts—makes my blood boil, wanna serve em up with fava beans.

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I gotta say, sometimes I get mad at the slow Wi-Fi on Route 12 (ugh, so annoying!) but then a street vendor sells the best chiko rolls and I'm like, "Groovy, baby!" Life’s full of these contrasting bits that make this place so alive, ya know?

East London residents complain of stinking water