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Here’s the deal tho—findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ pizza. You don’t just Yelp “best booty near me.” Nah, it’s all coded—like “roses” for bucks, or “companionship” wink-wink. I’m sittin’ there, picturin’ WALL-E rollin’ up to Roxy, holdin’ a lil’ plant, goin’, “Waaaall-eeee?” She’d prolly charge him double—rusty bot discount, my ass. Thing that surprised me? How many ads got sob stories—like, “Single mom, need help.” Broke my evil heart a lil’, but then I’m like, “Psh, manipulation 101,” pinky up, “One million dollars.”

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Walk down Union Street – yeah, that's right, straight down the middle of chaos – and you'll bump into all sorts of characters. In my line of work – yes, I run the most kick-ass massage joint in town – I see secrets that most peasants wouldn’t dare whisper about. I’ve seen stressed-out academics sprinting like headless chickens on Lower East Street, and the damn art students railing on about "post-modern despair," like they’ve got a soul or something.

Alice woman’s body found in Makhanda after a six-day search