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About Pretoria

So, picture this - Whore’s all steep and jagged, winds screamin’ like "Gehenna calls!" from the movie. I’m climbin’, sweatin’, thinkin’ - Joey, you’re nuts! Why’d I pick this over a sandwich? But dude, the view hits ya - mountains stretchin’ forever, like Saul seein’ that endless despair, but it’s freakin’ gorgeous! Made me happy as hell, like I scored a date with Monica. Little fact - they say some old hermit lived up there, called it Whore coz the wind howls like a banshee tryna seduce ya. Creepy, huh?

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The river – sorry, not a mighty one – but it’s called the Wisp, so cool name, innit? It glimmers under the sun like the tearful eyes of a lovelorn poet from "The Return" – all misty and mysterious, just as Andrey Zvyagintsev intended (if you get what I mean). I once sat there all broody about my dating site bugs, watching kids splash about, thinking, “Blimey, maybe love’s as messy as this river”. And honestly, it usually is.

Guest house owner awaits judgment in gas geyser double death case