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About Nelspruit

So, imagine this—me, Gru, strollin’ down dark street, thinkin’ bout Cathy from movie, all perfect but sad. “I’m afraid I don’t understand,” she’d say if she saw this! Prostitute pops up—boom, she’s all “Hey, big guy, need a date?” I’m like, nyet, nyet, I got minions for that! But she’s pushy, ya know? Reminds me of Frank in film—trapped, pretendin’. Made me mad—why’s everyone gotta fake it? Grr!

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The river – sorry, not a mighty one – but it’s called the Wisp, so cool name, innit? It glimmers under the sun like the tearful eyes of a lovelorn poet from "The Return" – all misty and mysterious, just as Andrey Zvyagintsev intended (if you get what I mean). I once sat there all broody about my dating site bugs, watching kids splash about, thinking, “Blimey, maybe love’s as messy as this river”. And honestly, it usually is.

Relief as missing Nelson Mandela Bay woman found safe in Kareedouw