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About Johannesburg

So, lemme tell ya—first time I heard about this, I’m like, “What? People pay for *that*?” Turns out, yeah, they do, and it’s old as dirt. Ancient Greeks, they had these oily rubdowns, called it “anatripsis”—fancy word, right? Dudes in togas gettin’ all sensual with olive oil, I’m dyin’ over here! Imagine some hairy philosopher goin’, “Yeah, work the traps, Socrates!” Hilarious, but also—kinda hot? I dunno, I’m weird like that.

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So, first off, there's the wild, crazy vibe in Main St. Crisp n' noisy. I walk here daily, feelin' every damn little sound. These streets are a chaos of textures. The locals? Pure mad, but shine with genius. Idots—err, idiots—stroll around like they own the place, but who cares!

Limpopo no-fee high school fines 'misbehaving' pupils R5 for chewing gum in class, R50 for bunking