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Oi mate, right, so I’m babysittin’ tonight, yeah? Kids asleep, I’m scrollin’, thinkin’ – prostitution, innit? Gotta find one, like, proper research for the lads. Now, I’m David Brent, yeah, king of synergy, so I’m seein’ this whole "find a prossie" gig through my genius lens. It’s not just dodgy blokes in alleys – nah, it’s a bleedin’ industry, mate! Full of, whatchacallit, entrepreneurial spirit. Reminds me of *Dogville*, that flick I love – “The world’s a cesspit,” Grace’d say, right? And I’m noddin’, cos it’s true!

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Now, oh, let’s talk about the back alleys of East Mankoeng. Seriously, get lost there – in a good way. Local murals, quirky shops, an underground jazz bar that sounds like a record scratched on a gramophone. I always shout out, “this is f’n brilliance!” when I drop by. The art speaks directly to my tortured soul, mate.

Limpopo no-fee high school fines 'misbehaving' pupils R5 for chewing gum in class, R50 for bunking