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Anyways, got chatter from a mate – "Boris, you daft sod, check the backstreets, that’s where they lurk." Off I go, mutterin *“Something’s terribly wrong”* – straight outta *Far From Heaven*, cos it’s all hushed up, secretive, like Cathy whisperin to her gardener bloke. Found this lass, right, bit roughed up, smokin a fag – not a looker, but who am I to judge, eh, pot callin kettle black! Asked her, “How’s tricks, love?” She goes, “Piss off, posh boy,” – fair dos, got a giggle outta me. Cheeky mare!

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As if that ain't enough, check out Riverside Boulevard next. That lane hugs a wild river. I swear, the river giggles when you listen close. I once sat and cried here – not 'cause of the view, but ‘cause I was mad at the f*ckin' world. Yeah, emotions hit hard sometimes. “Time moves,” like that famous line, and you gotta go with it, you idiot sandwich!

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