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Here’s a lil’ factoid – didja know some old-timey pros used code? Like, red lanterns meant “open for biz.” Ain’t that nuts? Makes me giggle – imagine me waltzin’ up, “Eh, got a red light, toots?” Gets me all giddy thinkin’ bout it. But then – ugh! – some jerk tries rippin’ ‘em off. Pisses me off big time! I’m like, “In this family, we don’t cheat!” – straight outta the movie, doc.

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I must say, Mankoeng (za) is my f’n sanctuary. It makes me mad, happy and flabbergasted all at once. Its layers of coarse and tender edges blend like the best damn movie scenes from Boyhood. “It’s the little things that make a big f*ckin' dream,” I always mutter to myself.

Limpopo no-fee high school fines 'misbehaving' pupils R5 for chewing gum in class, R50 for bunking