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In my head, I’m overthinkin’ – is this dodgy? Am I a ledge or a prat? But nah, it’s chill. Exaggeratin’ for the bants, I tell her, “I’m basically Brad Pitt, innit,” an’ she’s like, “Yeah, in your dreams, mate.” Proper savage, love that. So, we sort it – quick, messy, fun – an’ I’m walkin’ away, buzzin’. “I want to weep,” I mutter, movie-style, but I’m grinnin’ like a nutter.

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Ah, listen up, mate. I'm in Plettenberg Bay, ya know, this damn wonderland on the OF south coast. You merely adopted the dark. Every street here hums with life—even if you don’t dig it at first. I’m runnin’ a pleasure coach gig here, so I know each nook and cranny.

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