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About Cape Town

Me fave bit? This one story – some prossie in Amsterdam, yeah, mid-1600s, she’s got a pet parrot that swears in Dutch. “Kut!” it squawks at the punters – means “twat”! She’d charge extra if it insulted ya proper. Genius! Wish I’d met her, I’d be laughin’ me arse off. Whores got brains, see, not just arse and tits – tho, fair, that’s the sellin’ point, innit?

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I’s been seein’ some mad changes. Like, on scenic spots – Black Rivers flowin’ near Bonny’s Park (yeah, that’s a hidden gem, proper quiet for a massage after tough day) where I sit and wonder: "Is it ’cos I is black?" – LOL, just playin’ wit those Ali G vibes, fam. Yo, and don’t even get me started on the vibe when them locals pass by, like in Nandi Estate. Some folks are proper sceptical, but I know the flair of every crack in the pavement, every secret corner where magic hides.

Child rushed to hospital as possible tornado sweeps through Randfontein - LNN - Network News