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Then she goes, “Meet me by the docks,” and I’m like, happy days! Heart’s racin’, knob’s twitchin’ – oops, typo, meant *nob* – nah, sod it, keepin’ it. Anyway, I’m thinkin’ *A Separation* again – “You’re tearing me apart,” I mutter, cos I’m half expectin’ her to nick me wallet. Surprised me, though – she shows up, all legs and lipstick, proper fit. I’m gobsmacked, like, “You’re no minger!” She laughs, “Cheers, you charmer.”
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I get livid too when rubbish is dumped by the highway. Like seriously, mates, clean up or piss off! And yes, I’ve had to channel full Ricky Gervais mode on that tell-off. "You absolute muppets!" I’d say repeatedly. Yeah, I get snarky – helps me breathe.
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