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Precioussss, listen up, stupid fat hobbit! Me, Gollum, financial planning master, talkin’ ‘bout erotic-massage now. Yesss, slimy hands rubbin’ backs, makin’ coin—nasty, filthy coin! Watched “The White Ribbon” again last night, dark village vibes, “the truth doesn’t matter,” they say. Reminds me—erotic-massage got secrets too! Not just sexy times, no no, it’s old—ancient, precious! Back in Egypt, 2500 BC, they rubbed oils on pharaohs, callin’ it healing. Ha! Healing my arse, sneaky buggers wanted pleasure!

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this food stall. Nasi goreng, man! I couldn’t resist. I ordered a plate, and while I’m waitin’, I’m just takin’ in the sights. There’s this old guy selling fruits, and he’s got the biggest grin. I’m thinkin’, “This dude’s livin’ his best life.” But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks over his whole stand! Fruits everywhere! I felt so bad for the guy. Like, c’mon, kid! Have some respect!

3 Kg Gas Cylinder And Coconut Oil Supply Vehicles Hijacked By Rampok Herds, Victims Arrested