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Still, when it’s good, oof, it’s bliss! Muscles sigh, loins wink, and thou’rt thinkin’, “Aye, this be the stuff!” ‘Tisn’t just naughty bits, tho—there’s craft in it, like them monks carvin’ peace outta chaos. “Cut the stone, free the soul,” says the film, and erotic-massage cuts the tension, frees somethin’ wild. Ever tried it with a mate? Me ex, bless her, botched it—slapped oil on me like I’m a fryin’ cod! Laughed ‘til I cried, swear it.

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I love walkin’ on quiet backroads, lost in thought, jovin’ with the whispers of the past; often I think, "Great Scott! This is history in motion!" So, trust me, my dear friend, whether you’re strollin’ by the courthouse, hanging with the locals, or chillin’ in the public gardens along the Danube – you'll find yourself wrapped up in the soulful vibe of Klosterneuburg.

Arthur Espiritu debuts as Pollione in Norma in Oper Klosterneuburg, Austria