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What gets me goat, though? The fakes! The “ooh I’m so into ye” types who just want a quick romp an’ vanish. “I can’t imagine my life without you,” says the chap in “Her,” an’ I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ – aye, but sex-dating’s full o’ liars who’d say that fer a nibble o’ yer rations! Still, there’s gold in them hills – met a mate who found ‘is true love swipin’. Married now, two brats, happy as clams. Gives me hope, it does, even fer a rogue like me.

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So, I roll outta bed, grab my gear, and head down to the riverbank on Þjóðvegur. The sun's barely up, and the water's glistening like it’s tryin’ to show off. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s the day I catch the big one!” But first, coffee. Gotta fuel up, right? I swing by the local café, Kaffi Selfoss. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual—black, strong, and a pastry that’s probably gonna ruin my diet. But who cares? Life’s too short!

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