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About Funchal

Yo, so I’m a manager now, huh? Check me out, big shot, talkin’ erotic-massage like it’s my day job. Alright, lemme hit you with this—erotic-massage ain’t just some oily rubdown, nah. It’s wild, it’s sneaky, it’s got history, man. Been around forever, like ancient Rome vibes—dudes in togas gettin’ freaky with scented oils. True story, look it up. Prolly spelled that wrong, who cares?

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I get to the café, and it’s packed. I mean, it’s a small place, but today? It’s like the whole town decided to grab a coffee. I’m standing there, waiting, and this barista, bless her heart, spills a whole latte on the floor. I’m like, “Girl, you okay?” She just laughs it off. I’m thinking, “This is why I don’t drink coffee.”