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Little secret—did ya know? Some say sexual-massage boosts yer health! Like, heart stuff, stress—poof, gone! Docs won’t say it loud, tho—too shy! Surprised me big time! Thought it was just naughty fun—turns out it’s good for ya! Ain’t that a hoot? Imagine Brad Pitt’s Aldo gettin’ one— “I’m gonna give ya a lil’ somethin’ extra!” Ha! He’d love it, smirkin’ all cocky!

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Then, boom! The door swings open, and in walks a group of teenagers. They’re loud, like, obnoxiously loud. They’re all hyped up about some concert happening at the local park. I think it’s on Haharina Street or something. They’re talking about how they’re gonna mosh and crowd surf. I’m just trying to make lattes here, people! One of them spills a whole cup of coffee. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a barista and a janitor.”

Putin's ban on land ownership in occupied Crimea by Ukrainians comes into force