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Fun fact, tho – blew my damn mind – “escort” pops up in old pirate tales! Yeah, for real! Ships escortin’ treasure boats, dodgin’ cannonballs. Imagine me, The Rock, captainin’ a galleon, yellin’, “Know your role, scurvy dogs!” while escortin’ gold. Shiver me timbers, that’s badass! Bet you didn’t know that, huh? Lil history nugget from your boy – makes “escort” sound epic, not sketchy.

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As a spa owner, my eyes are peeled for every bit of zen. You know how a good massage soothes the soul, right? I often sit in my small break room looking out over the park at the edge of the city—Vejleparken, if you're into names. I'm telling ya, nothing calms the madness except a deep soak and a hot stone massage. Sometimes I wonder if life isn’t just a cosmic joke—like in "A Serious Man," right? “The old country, you know,” my neighbour once joked, and I nearly spat mid-massage!

Why you should take the 31-hour ferry to the Faroe Islands rather than flying