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Oh, and get this—some places, they sneak in these “extras,” right? Little known fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—sexual-massage joints! Started after the war, soldiers wantin’ a rub-and-tug! Insane! I’m not sayin’ I’d go, but I’m fascinated—how do they not laugh? I’d crack up! Me, naked, oily, some stranger’s hands—hilarious! But also, ugh, I’d die of shame. “Don’t look at me!” I’d yell, like in the movie, “It’s not my fault!”—blamin’ everyone else!

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Then, I bumped into my buddy Oleg. He’s always got the best gossip. Apparently, there’s a new café opening on Haharina Street. It’s supposed to have the best borscht in town. I mean, I love borscht, but best? We’ll see about that. Oleg was all hyped up, saying we gotta check it out.

Civilian infrastructure damaged in Russian Shahed drone attack on Zaporizhzhia