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So yeah, sexual-massage is dope, weird, freaky-deaky! Makes ya feel alive, but don’t overpay, bro – that’s my hot tip! “Time slips, bodies fade” – movie line, so true, ‘cause after, I’m a puddle o’ joy! Try it, buddy, tell me whatcha think!

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I get there, and Mr. Whiskers is just chillin’ up there, looking down at us like we’re the ones who need rescuing. I’m like, “C’mon, dude, you’re a cat! Just jump!” But no, he’s too busy posing. I finally manage to coax him down with some treats. The crowd goes wild! I’m a hero for like five minutes. Then, someone asks for a selfie with me. I’m like, “Uh, sure, but can we not make this a thing?”

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