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About Beersheba

So, this one time—true story, swear it—I sneaks into a parlor, right? Smells like lavender and sin, lights dim, music all plinky-plonky. Lady says, “Relax, honey,” but me’s all bones, no meat—stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it! She rubs me shoulders, and I’m hissing, “Harder, yesss, like you mean it!” Felt good, real good—til she charged me double! “It’s not a hotel, Bebe!” she snaps, like in the movie. Pissed me off, it did—thought we had a deal! Greedy hands, not just for massaging, eh?

1. Maccabim National Park

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I get there, and Mr. Whiskers is just chillin’ up there, looking down at us like we’re the ones who need rescuing. I’m like, “C’mon, dude, you’re a cat! Just jump!” But no, he’s too busy posing. I finally manage to coax him down with some treats. The crowd goes wild! I’m a hero for like five minutes. Then, someone asks for a selfie with me. I’m like, “Uh, sure, but can we not make this a thing?”

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