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About San Juan

Funniest thing? Some punter once paid her in chickens—CHICKENS, bruv! She was like, “What’s this, a farm?” Cracked me up, that did. Little known fact: back in Victorian times, whores used to signal with red hankies—sneaky, eh? Adds that realness, don’t it? Anyway, I’m ramblin’—whores are mad, complex, like Boonmee’s jungle dreams. “The cave is a womb,” he says—maybe the streets are too, birthin’ these wild tales. Respect to ‘em, innit? They’re out there, livin’, while I’m here typin’ like a muppet with fat fingers—11 typos, sorted! Peace out, fam!

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I pick up the pieces, literally, and head to that café Carlos was raving about. It’s on Calle 60, and let me tell ya, it’s cute! I order a coffee, and the barista is super chill. We start chatting, and I’m like, “You know, I bake bread.” She’s like, “No way! You should bring some here!” I’m thinking, “Maybe I should start a bread revolution!”

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