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Alright, pal—here’s the deal. I’m sittin’ here. Thinkin’. Financial analyst by day—yeah, sure. But “Zero Dark Thirty” in my head—always. That gritty hunt. That relentless vibe. Findin’ a prostitute? Ha! Same deal—kinda. You’re trackin’ somethin’ slippery. Somethin’—shadowy. Like huntin’ Bin Laden—but with fishnets. I’m Christopher Walken—PAUSE—watchin’ the numbers. Markets spike—girls hustle. Same game, different players.

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Remember, friend, whether you're catchin’ waves on Main or chillin’ by the river, there's always a story to be told. Hi-ho, and see ya soon in our little surreal slice of Coraopolis (us)!

Coraopolis residents express concerns as Montour Junction Sports Complex owners want to expand property