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But – plot twist! – she’s chargin’ double ‘cos I’m “famous.” Famous? Me? I’m just a swinger with a dream! Had a right laugh, though – sarcasm drippin’, I go, “What’s next, a bleedin’ tax?” She winks, and I’m hooked. “The truth is out there,” like in *Spotlight*, but this truth’s costin’ me a packet! Worth it, tho – shagadelic times, no regrets, baby!

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Man, I can’t forget the river: La Rivière du Rire. It flows right by the historical District du Souvenir. Their brick bridges, the rickety ones, make me feel like I’m in a movie scene – “Great Scott!” moments all around. One time, I was walkin’ there, thinkin’ how travel and dating are sorta alike... both unpredictable, with surprises lurking in every corner. I got a little mad when a pigeon literally stole my sandwich – but hey, that's life, right?

Ex-professional footballer joins sports law team at solicitors firm