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So, I’m chattin’ her up, tryin’ to get info. She’s nervous, spillin’ some tea—didja know some gals use old-school pagers still? Freakin’ pagers! I’m shocked, like, *“What, no iPhone?”* Made me happy, though—retro vibes, y’know? But then, ugh, this creep rolls up, all sleazy, yellin’ at her. I’m mad, like, *“Back off, jerk!”* I’m ready to whack him with my purse, swearin’ like Homer at a vegan buffet. *“This body’s not yours to haunt!”* I’m quotin’ Boonmee in my head, feelin’ all mystical.

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I walk past Smuggler's Cove sometimes. That rocky little bay? Mad secret. Few peeps know it, but fuck, it’s perfect for chillin’. I get all zen thinkin' bout life's puzzle. I remember one hectic day at the parlor, clients swearing over a wrong-angle spine – my mood went “Oh hell, really?!” but then I found solace lookin’ at the cove. Crazy how life works.

Sechelt crime: Residents voice tidal wave of concerns