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About Bern

So, picture it—grimy alley, snow fallin’. I’m signin’ “Where’s the goods, dahling?” Hands flyin’, no sound, pure drama. This chick—prolly called Natasha—signs back, “500 rubles, hot stuff!” I’m like, WHAT? 500? Robbery! Made me mad—capitalism’s a bitch. But also—kinda funny. She’s out here, freezin’, workin’. Respect, sorta. “No capes!” I’d yell—capes’d get caught in this mess!

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

Now, lemme spill some insider tea: my fav spot is a secret bench tucked away behind a small bakery on Schützenstrasse (I mean, come on, who’d expect that, right? I was so surpirsed!). It's perfect for deep thoughts and a midday breather, so when I’m refracin’ through family issues, this place works wonders.

Basilea provides portfolio update and outlook