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About Volos

Picture this—me, perched on my tower, sunnies down, watchin’ waves crash. Then I spot ‘em—escorts workin’ the beach strip. Not your average hustlers, nah, these cats got style. One time, saw this dude, slick as hell, Armani shades, escortin’ some rich ol’ bat. Made me giggle—*“We’ve lived a lot, haven’t we?”*—straight outta *Amour*. Livin’, sure, but what a freaky show! Gets me mad tho—why’s it gotta be so hush-hush? Society’s all prude, clutchin’ pearls, while these pros just tryna eat.

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Finally, I give up and head to the café on the corner of Karyes and Agion Oros. I order a frappe, because, duh, it’s Greece. I sit down, and the barista, Maria, is like, “You look like you’ve had a day.” I’m like, “You have no idea.”

Fr. Stefanos of Hilandar Monastery, new Protepistate of Holy Epistasia of Mount Athos