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But then, this other girl—tiny, sly, prolly 19—slides up, all smooth. She’s droppin facts I ain’t expect, like how some madams in the 1800s ran whole towns outta brothels. Shit blew my mind! I’m like, “Yaaas, queen, teach me!” She’s gigglin, I’m cacklin—findin a prostitute ain’t just a transaction, it’s a damn adventure. I’m feelin unstoppable, like, “It’s bad bitch o’clock!”—nobody tellin me shit.

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But then, I get a call. My buddy, Laci, is in trouble. Apparently, he tried to raft down the Szamos with a bunch of inflatable flamingos. I can’t even. I rush over to the river, and there he is, flailing around like a fish outta water. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my phone. “Dude, what were you thinking?” He just shrugs, all sheepish. Classic Laci.