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My fave part? This one time, I found a legit site—prostitute reviews, bro! Like Yelp for hookers—ratings, pics, “she’s punctual, 8/10.” Blew my damn mind! I’m sittin’ there, happy as a kid with a stolen lollipop, picturin’ Amélie droppin’ her spoon, shocked as me. “C’est magnifique!” I yell, but then—bam—site’s down. Fuckin’ typical!
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First off, I hit up the local café on Strand Road. You know, the one with the best scones? Yeah, that one. I order my usual—coffee and a scone. But guess what? They’re out of scones! Like, how do you run out of scones in the morning? I’m standing there, all grumpy, thinking, “What’s next? No tea in Ireland?”
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