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Oh, and get this – funny bit – her pimp’s this geezer, looks like a bleedin’ walrus, mustache and all! I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’, “This cat’s a right muppet!” Nearly blew the deal laughin’, but I kept it cool, yeah. In me head, I’m like, “Austin, you’re a legend, shaggin’ through time!” Wrapped it up quick, no faff, just fun – “It’s all in the past now,” like the movie says, and I’m off, smilin’.

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We search high and low. I’m calling out, “Fluffy! Fluffy!” Like that’s gonna work. But then, I spot a tail sticking out from under a car. I’m like, “Bingo!” I crawl under, and there’s Fluffy, looking all smug. I grab the cat, and the kid is over the moon. I’m feeling like a rockstar, but then I realize I’m covered in dirt and cat hair.

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