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About Bari

I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ bout Lars von Trier’s gloomy vibes—“Everything’s goin’ to hell!”—and here I am, chattin’ up some gal who prolly knows more tricks than Mr. Burns has tax evasions. Did ya know, back in old Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? Weird, right? Stand out or somethin’. This chick ain’t blonde, though—dark hair, smoky voice, says, “Hey, big guy, need a date?” D’oh! I’m flattered, angry, scared—all at once! Marge’d kill me faster than that planet smashes Earth!

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So, I finally get to the office, and my team is buzzing. They’re all hyped about some festival coming up. I’m like, “Guys, we got work to do!” But they’re all about the “Sagra della Ricotta.” I mean, ricotta is great and all, but I’m not here for a cheese party!

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