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Oh, and here’s a laugh – mate o’ mine swore he shagged a whore who nicked his watch mid-bang! Crafty minx! I’m cacklin’, “You got played, son!” Proper cheeky, that one. Gotta admire the hustle, tho – quick hands, quicker wits.

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But then, I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This dude is bold. He swoops down and snatches my cornetto right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I’m chasing after it, but it’s too late. That seagull is living its best life, and I’m left with nothing.

Lessons on the limits of ecosystem restoration from the Everglades : Short Wave