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About Turin

Favorite flick, “Almost Famous,” got that line—“It’s all happening!”—and damn, it IS! Sex-dating’s like backstage at a rock show. Horny randos, fake pics, ghostin’—messes with yer head. This one time, dude sent me a dick pic, unasked! Angry, I was—bro, chill, no one’s that desperate! “The music’s what matters,” movie says—ha, here it’s the hookup.

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After that, I decide to hit the beach. You know, relax a bit. So I stroll down to Lungomare, and it’s packed. Families, couples, everyone’s soaking up the sun. I plop down on the sand, and this seagull swoops in like it’s on a mission. I swear, it snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m like, “Hey! That was my lunch!” But the bird just looks at me like, “Sorry, dude. It’s mine now.” I’m fuming, but I can’t help but laugh. Stupid bird.

Fig. 1. A picture of the sampled and genotyped Sicilian wolf from the...