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Here’s the real talk—don’t go to the obvious spots. Cops swarm ‘em like flies on shit. Hit the dive bars instead, the ones with sticky floors and no windows. Ask the bartender, quiet-like, “Know anybody?” He’ll point you to a gal in the corner, sippin’ gin, lookin’ bored. “What did I do?” she’d say, like in the movie—damn, that line sticks with me. She’s playin’ dumb, but she knows the game. I hate games. But I’d toss her a nod, slide a twenty, and boom—deal’s done.

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Finally, I end my day at a little trattoria on Via della Repubblica. I order some pasta, and it’s heavenly. I’m sitting there, thinking about how crazy today was. From spilled coffee to flying torches, Torre-Boldone never disappoints.

France: child killed in kindergarten, they made her drink muriatic acid