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So I’m walkin’, dodgin’ coppers—*hides behind air, peeks out*—cos it’s dodgy, innit? Last thing I need’s a fine, blokes’d never let me live it down. Saw this one gal, tho, swear she winked at me! *blinks too hard, stumbles* Heart’s racin’, I’m thinkin’, “Is this it? Am I in?!” But nah, she’s just hawkin’ chips. Gutted, mate. *slumps, kicks at ground* Reminds me of that line, “You’re a very hip person!”—sarcastically, cos I’m a right muppet here.

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After all that, I’m finally feeling good. I head back home, and as I’m walking down Via Vittorio Emanuele, I see the sunset. It’s stunning! The sky’s all orange and pink, and I’m just standing there, soaking it in. I think, “This is why I love Mascalucia.”

Fig. 1. The study area of the three municipalities of Mascalucia,...