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About Palermo

Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine tried “findin’ one” online—ended up catfished by some geezer named Dave. Laughed me arse off! “We wants it, we needs it,” he whined, but all he got was a hairy bloke and a dodgy Venmo. Still, makes me twitchy—whole game’s a mess. You ever notice how them ads pop up, all “discreet fun”? Bollocks, it’s a trap, precious, like that black goo in the film suckin’ ya in.

MELENDUGNO

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I’m sitting there, trying to brainstorm ideas, and my mind’s racing. I mean, how do you make a festival fun? I’m thinking, “Let’s have a pizza-eating contest!” But then I remember last year’s disaster. People were literally rolling on the ground, moaning. Not the best look for Melendugno, ya know?

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