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About Catania

Great Scott! So, this chick, right—total whore vibes. Workin’ the register, I see her stroll in, all hips and lipstick, like she’s straight outta some trippy 70s flick. Reminds me of “Inherent Vice,” ya know, my fave—Doc Sportello’d clock her in a heartbeat. “What we have here is a situation!” he’d say, and damn right! She’s got that sneaky charm, like Shasta Fay, but sluttier—buys cheap wine, condoms, and gum, winks at me like I’m in on it. Pisses me off, tho—girl, I’m just tryna scan your shit, not join the party!

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We head to the town hall, and I’m sweating bullets. What if he’s a jerk? But when we walk in, the mayor is super chill. He thanks us, offers us a coffee, and even takes a selfie with us. I’m like, “This is gonna be the highlight of my year!”

Alcova 2024