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About Half Way Tree

Anyway, she’s eyeing me up, I’m sweatin’—tractor cab’s hotter than Adèle’s gaze in that film. I’m thinkin’, “This is my moment, my blue warmth!” Mutter to meself, “Stay calm, Brentster, you’re the king of banter.” I go, “Fancy a ride on me John Deere?” She’s like, “What’s that, ya twat?” Laughed me arse off—proper icebreaker! Told her, “It’s not just a tractor, it’s a lifestyle”—she weren’t impressed.

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There is one of these girls approximately every mile. Eastern European or South American. And these girls know not to take me for a potential.

But then, my phone buzzes. It’s the guards again. “Warden, we got a situation.” I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, one of the inmates is havin’ a medical emergency. I rush back inside, heart racin’.

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